It has been my unfortunate, yet helpful realization that there is no one in the world who is going to take care of me as much as I am going to take care of myself. In saying this, I am not attempting to paint a less than wonderful view of how the world works. I am attempting to explain that rather than going through our lives continually relying on others to give us our happiness, we have to ability and responsibility to give ourselves the happiness and successful lives that we crave.
Creating your own fairytale is not easy and the path to its attainment will contain very rough roads where you really won't think you can make it any further. What enjoyable stories don’t contain a good cliff hanger? In those moments, I often like to stop for a moment and realize the cliff hanger moment that I have gotten myself into. I also like to visualize what things will be like once the moment of strife has passed. It helps me get through it.
Either way, if you are attempting to create your own path, you will have many rough roads to traverse and steep hills to climb.
The most difficult challenge for me in trying to make my own happiness is the lack of support that I receive for my plans, ideas and goals. I am certainly not saying that I have not gotten help because nothing could be further from the truth and I am not saying that people will not help you. They will. The support that I have had to learn to live without is emotional support.
For instance, try creating a simple goal to go to the gym 3 times per week and keep yourself to it. Whether you keep to your goal or not, I would bet that you will get no applause. No one will intervene in your decision to skip the gym and grab a beer because you deserve it. As a matter of fact they will likely even encourage this. No one will clap for you when you overcome that urge and go to the gym anyway. You will get no support from anyone other than yourself. That for me, is hard.
How do we live like this and why do we go to the gym anyway? After all, no one cares so why should we? Wrong.
The key is that no one cares about your journey, but in the end, you will be recognized and respected for it. You are not going to get a pat on the back when you do one more curl up, make one more phone call, stay at work for one more minute or make one more introduction. BUT..., show up with six pack abs, record-breaking sales numbers, the respect of your co-workers and a personal network of your local movers and shakers in your back pocket and people will do much more than applaud your achievements. They will wonder how you did it and wish that they had your “luck.” If luck had anything to do with success and happiness then there would be a lot less successful and happy people than there are. We make our own luck.
Rising above what other people think and doing more than what others do is hard but it is the difference between average and great. If you are honored with the title of greatness and hold the respect of others it is not because you are better than them. It is because you are able to do things that they haven’t done. That’s literally it. Nike has a much simpler way of saying this.
What you should not do is give in to the comforts of mediocrity. I have used the pot of crabs analogy before but this is a fitting place as well. A pot of crabs about to be cooked will all die together. If one crab tries to escape, the jealousy, and desperation of the others will prevent it. The other crabs latch on and refuse to let one crab escape to ensure that they all suffer the same fiery fate. Escape the crabs in your life!
Crabs aside, it is my wish this year that everyone who reads this finds one aspect of their life that they want to improve and commits to a plan to eradicate the problem or improve the circumstances despite what anyone else thinks of it. This year has the potential to be the most happy and productive time in your life if you decide that is going to be. My advice is to come in strong and start today. Put everyone on notice that this year is going to be your year to do _blank_. Then shock the shit out of them when you show up, show out and do it. It’s 2019, the stage is set and you’re on! Break a leg and in all conceivable contexts, please stay away from the crabs.
Need a little extra gas in order to get to work in the morning? Take a look at my current mood playlist!